If your marrage is going to work, there must be some give and take on both sides. Why can't you talk to your friends in the house? Does she have any non JW friends that she talks to? I'm sure you could think of some, does she go to the garage when she talks to them? If she insists that you go to the garage like a scond class citizen in your own home for calls she deems worldly, then she must do the same with her calls that you do not agree with. If one rule fits for one, it should fit for both. That is the only way your marrage is going to work. Stand up for your rights in this relationship.
Out at Last!
JoinedPosts by Out at Last!
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31
So my elder/dad says he will shun me....i figured as much...
by oompa inso i know many of you guys say the best way to show dubs is to be all happy and all when you exit.....but not all of us are doin that well at it....even though i have lost all friends from my dub life....i really dont want to lose my son and folks....this would happen if i end this odd and painful arrangement of a marriage to a really wonderful wife who is hardcore jw.
my desire for freedom and normal social life, and the 800 lb gorilla in the room we live with are not doing so well...........i am tired of having to leave the house and go in the garage to talk on the phone with my non-dub friends.....tired of totally separate social lives.......tired of rules in place that prevent us from speaking about certain taboo topics with each other........my mental/emotional state is not well and has not been for four years.
so i spoke with my dad very openly and honestly about how i have had to wear "masks" through life....one for school since third grade to fit in....another for my parents and jw friends........and that now i still lead a double life when not around my wife........told him outright i feel jws meet every single definition of a cult btw.......he already knew i felt that way but had never said it so directly........i asked him if he felt history repeats itself and could fds not be just like the scribes and pharisees that made so many rules for gods people that they had actually corrupted gods message............he said he has wondered that before too.
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Out at Last!
I saw on the news last week that most states have removed soda machines and candy vending machines from schools, trying to force students to eat better food. I hope that they are not promoting cafeteria food as"good food."
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I had the "Grail" in my hands!
by lepermessiah ini went to the local library last night with my wife.
i am trying to follow the advice here and be very discreet with my fade.
as she browsed over to the fiction section, i ran over to the religious section.. i am in the middle of reading crisis of conscience on pdf right now, and sure enough our local library has "in search of christian freedom" in the catalog.
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Out at Last!
I have finished CoC and both books by S. Hassan. Have started on In Search of Christian freedom, but have been very busy with school & other things. I hope to get back to it very soon. All are exceptional books that show how easy it is to fall under control of a cult, especially Hassan's books. He has been there and knows all the angles. I would encourage you to read both by Franz and Hassan.
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I have justed avoided phone calls from an elder
by wouldacouldashoulda inin my 4 years of fading i only had a couple of calls and visits.
does that make me lucky?
i am now being hassled to "chat" to an elder via my mobile.. .
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Out at Last!
I guess I was lucky, started divorce procedings and stopped going. I moved out 7 months later, only 12 miles away, never got a call or visit. I tried to be a pain in the ass at every opportunity so most were probably glad I was gone. You might want to try this one, it worked very well for me.
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The funny and the laughable
by Heartbreaker inrelative was reinstated recently .
then....i get a voicemail (from an ignored phone call) from my mother asking to have the youngest three kids this weekend, for "something fun for the kids" and since they can't fit more than 3 in thir car, they want the youngest, and this on the heels of me sending a email to state that i was remembering some damaging things from my childhood (father confirmed pedophile, but until recently it was assumed i was excluded from this) and that i needed some time and some space.
her reply was that i shouldn't let things affect my relationship with jehovah, ruin all the hard work i've done in keeping my kids with jehovah in their heart, and that she did the best she could.
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Out at Last!
Unfortunately, women are "commanded" to stay with these type of men and obey their headship. No matter what the accusation is, even if it is proven by their two witnesses command, many are told to stay. I don't understand how a woman can look past her motherly instinct to protect her children and stay with a man who abuses them. Even if threatened with retribution, you would think that a mother would leave the guy and look out for the best interests of her children. Sadly, many women, including my mother chooses not to.
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Contribution of Franz books on your decision to leave?
by Damocles inthe recent resurrected topic on franz' books got me curious.. how much did his writing contribute to your decision to leave?.
for myself, it was another brick in the wall but not more important than any other.
i was a little different than most in that i regularly read anti-witness stuff from the very beginning and never stopped.
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Out at Last!
I had already gotten out before readind CoC and it confirmed alot of my concerns/ suspicions about the org and teachings. Combatting by Hassan amazed me at how much mind control was going on. I would listen to new teachings of announcements at the KH and see the propaganda and the agenda they were trying to push, but I had no idea that they were following 1950's Chinese mind control tactics.
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Anyone Have The 2008 WT library CD-ROM available online?
by Tired of the Hypocrisy ini searched for a link on here and the only one i could find is no longer available.
i would like to download it and save it to disk.
had to get a new hard drive and my backup cd is missing..... thanks gang!.
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Out at Last!
I would also like to get a copy if any are floating around out there.
Thanks
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Notes From the Annual Meeting - Oct 3, 2009
by daniel-p infrom a little bird... .
interesting portions highlighted.
notes from annual meeting (oct 3, 2009) .
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Out at Last!
At what point will the third, fourth generation come in? Never ending horse shit to keep shoveling out to keep the date watching drones happy. I can see at a future international assembly:" I'm annointed Gen 2, which are you?" "I'm gen 3, I didn't know any 2's were left."
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Apologies in advance
by Heartbreaker inthis post may be all over the place.
i've still been reading, any chance i get, but don't post often because of circumstance.
i will have those "aha!
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Out at Last!
The final step is like cutting your sefety net, flying solo for the first time in a long time, or maybe ever. I think it is a decision that you have already made, but that you are just scared to take that final step. That is natural, and you can take all the time you need. It is great that your husband is willing to leave too. Keep showing him the inaccuracy in WT teaching, and slowly he will see the real truth. This has to be done on his timetable, you can not remove these beliefs from his head until HE is ready to change his thinking. He learned the WT doctrine slowly, it may be the same way for him to unlearn the things that he still believes.
There are great things out there, great people. I found some of the kindest, caring people after I left, and you are starting to see that already. So get out, enjoy life and keep us posted on your progress.
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How many members on this board?
by Out at Last! indoes anyone know, or know of a way to get a total?
or we can count off individually.
if so, i'm 1, whose next?.
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Out at Last!
Thanks Blonde, I knew you would know.
mrsjones5- Not number one in posts, popularity, or intelligence; most already have chosen their number ones for that. I was the first to ask the question, therefore I was also the first to answer, making me #1. It appears that you are #3, absolutely no shame in being #3 out of 25,516.
The next time you ask a question, be sure to be the first to answer and then you can assume titleholder of number 1.
I wish you all the best in your climb to #1!